Senator for a Day: Tackling Important Issues

Posted by Elizabeth Flack on Nov 5, 2018 6:55:38 PM

With the midterm elections less than 24 hours away, there's a certain kind of buzz in the air. Some people are excited, others anxious, but everyone can agree that they're looking forward to no longer seeing the campaign commercials in between the newest episode of The Big Bang Theory. However you lean, we've all thought about what we would do if we had the power to make the laws, if even just for a day. We have compiled a few of our would-be laws if we had the power for just one day.

you have the right to remain silent

CoffeeIn a perfect world, everyone would use their blinker, eating carbs would burn calories, and everyday your alarm would wake you up with a gentle nudge and a warm cup of coffee. But this world is far from perfect. Some days it seems like people would rather run you off the road than let you merge, an order of french fries has about half your recommended DV, and it seems like your alarm has some type of vendetta against you every morning. The world is tough enough. We get that. Which is why, as Senator, it is illegal to speak to anyone before they have had at least three (3) cups of coffee, unless you are telling them how lovely they look.

Please remain standing

Typically, we believe in live and let live. As long as you aren't making any one else's life harder or causing any harm, who are we to say you're wrong? This holds true for most things, but sometimes a line needs to be drawn. We find it absolutely necessary to write into law that any persons over the age of twelve (12) who is caught owning, purchasing, or selling a bean bag chair can be fined up to the equivalent of four (4) lava lamps worth of beanie babies. Because, seriously, if you have a bean bag chair you definitely still have your beanie babies. Instead, get a grown up chair, like this one.

THE OFFICE OFFENDER

Lunch

You know who I'm talking about. The morning's going great. You're chatting with your coworkers about your weekend and how you can't wait to get home. Then, like clock work, it happens. You're minding your own business when the person a few cubicles over from you reaches for their lunch box. You anxiously eye-up the situation. What is it today? You're praying it's a salad or maybe just a regular turkey and cheese, but deep down you know. You know it's going to be their usual hard boiled eggs with a side of canned sardines. What kind of person exposes their peers to such an odor? If we were Senator, stinky lunches would be punishable by two weeks in isolation, AKA working from the supply closet.

 

These three small changes are sure to make a world of difference in everyone's day-to-day life, which is why you should vote for us if it's ever possible to be a senator, just for a day. 

What laws would you make a day if given the chance? Share this on Facebook with your legislation!

AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE TOMORROW, NOVEMBER 6TH!